The Hills Roll On

We’ve gone from counting the weeks to counting the days. There’s nothing like the anticipation of welcoming your children to the outside world! I have daily ‘episodes’ where the anticipation hits a frenzied pitch and I just have to ride it out. The fantasy of going into labour becomes all I can think about (usually right before bed when I’m in a bartering mood with God). But the night passes (with hourly turns from side to side intersected with trips to the bathroom) and I awake refreshed, but slightly disappointed. My hope is not gone though; hey, it’s a new day! You never know what it holds! Maybe my water will break after all? Maybe not.

One way or another, we’ve set a definite date. Thursday March 15th, 7:30 am, these boys will be plucked from the womb! I’ll be well into my 37th week by then, a very reasonable timeframe for twin development. Already at 36 weeks I’m pushing 12 pounds of baby (combined), hitting an amazing 45 cm for my uterine size (a single pregnancy should only be 35-36cm), and reaching foot swelling sizes that impress my dear husband. Because of our previous cesearean and some incisional discomfort I’ve had this past month, we’re not going to take our chances past 37 weeks. Labor could go fine, or it could be a disaster. I’ve prayed long and hard about the choice; because it means there will only be one more ’safe’ pregnancy beyond this one. It’s strange to face the beginning of the end of my childbearing years. My whole life has been speckled by beginnings for so long, that endings are that much more abrupt and almost unwelcome. But I am a grown woman now, and endings are part of life. So I’m growing in grace as I accept the ending, not a sentence of doom, but as another chapter in the story of my life. I am already blessed beyond description, so premature pity seems rude at this point.

Each morning as Eden and I sit for our shared breakfast, we pause to give thanks. She sweetly repeats after me as I prompt her to say, “Thank you God [shank yew God] ….for a new day [new day] .” So today, from the bottom of my heart, I say it too. A new day; maybe not all I hoped for, but blessed nonetheless.

This entry was posted on Friday, March 9th, 2007 at 11:03 am and is filed under Latest. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.