Sojourners
One of the most interesting things that I have realized just today is this: everyone asks how it feels to be living in Spain and really, it just feels normal…like this is what we’re supposed to do, as natural as anything else. Either it’s God’s abudant grace or my denial:) I’ll go with option A! Isn’t that peculiar? You’d think I’d be all butterflies or at the very least giddy…but no, I feel completly calm and normal. 
Something great must’ve happened over these last 3 years since Gavin and I wed and began our rather nomadic lifestyle. When we first moved to the states (11 weeks after we got married we started at BCOM) I felt displaced…not "home". But when I’d go "home" to Ottawa for vacations, that didn’t feel like "home" anymore either. Then last year when we spent 9 months in Ottawa and had Eden, we had our own apartment for the first time ever and that didn’t feel like home either. It was through these many things that the reality has sunk in of my true citizenship and my true home…it’s not here. The longing sometimes spikes, and I think I desire roots on earth (home in the country, simple life, simple dreams, a cat…you know), but after I toy with that day dream for a while, it only leaves ashes in my mouth…we are as Peter writes, aliens and strangers in the world’ (1 Pt 2.11) aren’t we? Sojourners: to dwell for a time. Knowing this in my core makes it alot easier to pick up and move….when you’ve released the desperate grip on the right to "home" you are free to be where you are while you live as His in behind enemy lines.
Something great must’ve happened over these last 3 years since Gavin and I wed and began our rather nomadic lifestyle. When we first moved to the states (11 weeks after we got married we started at BCOM) I felt displaced…not "home". But when I’d go "home" to Ottawa for vacations, that didn’t feel like "home" anymore either. Then last year when we spent 9 months in Ottawa and had Eden, we had our own apartment for the first time ever and that didn’t feel like home either. It was through these many things that the reality has sunk in of my true citizenship and my true home…it’s not here. The longing sometimes spikes, and I think I desire roots on earth (home in the country, simple life, simple dreams, a cat…you know), but after I toy with that day dream for a while, it only leaves ashes in my mouth…we are as Peter writes, aliens and strangers in the world’ (1 Pt 2.11) aren’t we? Sojourners: to dwell for a time. Knowing this in my core makes it alot easier to pick up and move….when you’ve released the desperate grip on the right to "home" you are free to be where you are while you live as His in behind enemy lines.
That rambling moment of sharing came out of nowhere..it feels good to collect my thoughts and make some cohesive sense out of all these seemingly disparate thoughts, feelings and revelations.
Resting In His Shadow..I am His.
December 30th, 2005 at 11:45 am
I love how you put things! I’m coming to that conclusion as well and I think that once I’m out of debt I’m going to be outta here. Maybe that’s why I’m clinging to my debt so much! Lots of love, yo sistah.
December 30th, 2005 at 12:21 pm
It’s so true. I find myself feeling the same way. It’s the “wordly” way of thinking… but we don’t belong to the world. We are spirits in flesh waiting for our turn to go home… our real home in heaven with our father.